8 Tips for Dealing with a Stressful Office Job

It may surprise you but the main reason why we get stressed isn't that we have "too much to do". For most of us, having too much to do is perfectly fine as long as we know what our priorities are and if we can have a good oerview of our work. Instead, the plague of modern office life is that we have to MANY things to do and that we loose track of it all.

Discover an easy and effective way of managing your work. These simple techniques have been proven time and time again. In essence, the simple secret lies in taking charge of your time.

1. Write it down! I never cease to be amazed by how often stressed out people try to keep all the things they have to do in their heads. Stress is often more about knowing that we have a lot to do but not being able to remember exactly what.

2. Write it ALL down! In order for you to have a to-do list that you can rely on, you must trust that it contains ALL the things you have to do. Otherwise, you will still have a nagging feeling that you may not be focussing on the right things.

3. Channel interruptions to your to-do list. Interruptions are a part of life so don't let them stress you. 95% of all interruptions are either very quick so that you can deal with them straight away or something that you can defer to a time when YOU decide.

4. Don't let your email inbox become your to-do list. Receiving emails can be great fun. Unfortunately, it is also very easy to confuse your inbox with your to-do list. Try to only scan your email inbox once every hour or two (If you lack the discipline, you can set your email client to do this).

5. You don't have to do everything! If I had to choose one single reason why people fail with their to-do lists it would have to be that they lack the ability to strike things off it. Things change and so should your to-do list. If you are uncomfortable with deleting tasks, create a "storage" list and move it to that.

6. The Nibble. Let's face it, some tasks are big, vague and truly and utterly boring. We end up postponing these tasks forever and as a result they never leave our to-do list. Eventually, our list is filled with these types of tasks
and finally we decide not to look at the depressing thing. The trick is "The ibble". Break the task down into smaller components. Make sure that the first step is takes less than 5 minutes to do. Then take that first step.

7. Not my time of day - Listen to your own rhythm. Let's face it. Were human, not machines. At times we are productive and at times we are not. I see it as a surfer who times the waves and then rides them to their fullest. Try to find a task management system that let's you monitor your own "waves". You will probably find that you know less about yourself than you think you do.

8. Play! Why oh why do all planners and task managers have to look so professional and at the end of the day, so very very boring? Make your work into a game. Set small targets and reward yourself.

Read More

8 Surprising Things You Can Do Through Hypnosis—And Why You’d Want To

You’re probably aware of hypnosis to stop smoking. Or for losing pounds. Maybe you’ve heard how hypnosis can help explore past lives, but there are some things hypnosis can help you do that might surprise or amaze you:

1. Locate lost objects. If you were the one who put it away, or you witnessed it being put away, hypnosis might help. Even if the incident was years ago. Try it and see what happens.

2. Enjoy foods you’ve avoided. Brussel sprouts are healthy, and whole-grain bread is better for you than white, nutritionists tell us. But what if you just don’t like the taste? A little hypnosis and you might change all that, though if your resistance persists, check for an allergy. Sometimes your body just “knows.”

3. End cravings. The reverse of #2, this helps you turn down brownies, stop uncontrolled shopping, or even give up the boyfriend who keeps doin’ ya wrong.

4. Enjoy public speaking. They call it a greater fear than death. Too bad. Being an effective speaker can boost your career in your company, your industry, and beyond. Once-reticent clients gasp at the changes in themselves—and the benefits they reap. If stopping smoking stops draining money, becoming a good speaker puts money in the bank.

5. Exercise longer, stronger and more efficiently. Hypnosis can help your turn distaste for working out into a craving. Ask yourself: “What would exercising give me? What would it make possible in my life?” A talented hypnotherapist spins a powerful motivational story for your subconscious, making it all so desirable that you can’t wait to shop for running shoes.

6. Attract your life partner. You think finding the person of your dreams is about mesmerizing her or her? Nope. Start with yourself. Hypnosis for confidence, sex appeal, or immediate rapport gives you a feeling you’ve never had before. And that sense of self is very appealing to others. Try it out.

7. Get more done in less time. It’s not all about organizing your files or upgrading your technology. Productivity, effectiveness, and enjoying what you do all start in the mind. And specifically, in your subconscious mind. Uh-huh.

8. Relieve an itch. Yeah, really. When is an itch not an itch? When it’s a habit. Keep scratching it and it feels itchier. And irritated. Irritated skin often itches (not to mention bleeds) so you’ve created a cycle. But you can tell your subconscious to disengage that phantom itching, allow your healing, and get back that healthy smoothness.

Finding Your Hypnotherapist

Once interested in hypnosis, people ask me how they can find a good hypnotist in their area. If you live in or near a metropolitan area, it shouldn’t be too difficult.

But people trained in hypnosis can sometimes be found in rural areas too.

You may see the title “certified hypnotherapist” or “certified hypnotist,” and more recently “consulting hypnotist.” Ask which organization(s) certified him or her. For hypnotists who are not licensed as psychotherapists or psychologists (and yet are extremely effective and trustworthy), the National Guild of Hypnotists is nationally known and deemed trustworthy. The American Board of Hypnotherapy is also a respected organization.

When you call a hypnotherapist, found through referral or simply by Googling “hypnosis”, notice how comfortable you feel during the conversation. Great skills are crucial, but so is the rapport between you. If you want to test the waters, arrange for a single appointment, and then decide whether you want to continue.

A hypnotherapeutic relationship can be ongoing, especially if there’s a coaching aspect to it, but it is often short term: one appointment, three appointments, perhaps six, depending on the issue or the habit you want to break—or create.

In your phone conversation, you should be encouraged to ask all the questions you need to ask. As a consumer and potential client, you have that right.

Two good questions are: “How long have you been in practice? And what are your specialties?? (Mine are smoking cessation and women’s issues including love and relationship.) You may also want to ask, “Do you work with ______(your issue)?” And “How often?”

What Can Hypnosis Be Used For

Hypnosis, in a clinical setting—as opposed to stage hypnosis for entertainment—is usually used to create or break habits. These are habits of thought or action. Grabbing the next potato chip, and the next, and the next, without even noticing you’re doing it, is a habit of action. But that action may have been due to a habit of thought. Perhaps you were focusing on a painful, sad, or angry thought or an unfulfilled desire and wanted to distract yourself. And you found that a tasty food could do that for you temporarily.

A conscious motive? Maybe. But it’s often unconscious. You may not realize why you’re reaching for the chip. You’d probably say “I like the taste” or “I’m just hungry and I can’t take a break now.”

Hypnosis is ideal for working for working with the subconscious mind.

The Power of Self Hypnosis

Self-hypnosis is an empowering tool because once you’ve tested the waters, you may want to continue the work on your own, with only occasional visits to the hypnotist of your choice for tougher issues or to upgrade your skills.

Self-hypnosis allows you to work with yourself, whenever you choose, on simple things, reserving another office visit for times when you need an outside perspective or when self-hypnosis doesn’t seem to be working. Smoking cessation, initial weigh loss work, and relationship issues seem to work best with outside help, at least at first.

But once you’ve sampled the powerful results of hypnosis, you might want to make it part of your life. So ask up front if your hypnotherapist teaches self-hypnosis. Many of us do. For example, I teach self-hypnosis one-on-one, in a group workshop, or with a CD I have created for that purpose. When choosing your practitioner, find out what choices she offers.

Hypnotherapy is not psychotherapy

If you suspect you need psychotherapy, don’t expect the “certified hypnotherapist” or hypnotist to do that. She is not licensed for that work. Instead, either look for a psychotherapist who is also trained in hypnosis and uses it commonly in her practice, or go to two different people.

In my practice, I have relationships with many

psychotherapists. When the situation calls for both skills, we share a client, and with her expressed written permission, we exchange progress reports to maximize the impact of our work to benefit that client. Generally I see the client a specified number of times, while the psychotherapist’s care is
ongoing.

Clients generally say the combination made a difference in speed, effectiveness, and enjoyment.

Hypnosis is pleasant

The process of being hypnotized is usually a pleasant one. So many of my clients have described as a “mental massage,” that I now teach a corporate workshop called That Marvelous Mental Massage.™

Clients often say they feel healthier, more alive and committed to their lives after walking out of a session. They can’t believe they could alter their minds to be so rested and optimistic, after merely sitting on a sofa for an hour, listening to someone say some words to them.

If you have an issue you think can be addressed by hypnosis, call some practitioners near you, describe the issue, what you’d like to have happen, and sample this ancient art and science for what it can do for you.

Read More

8 Reasons To Learn A New Language

Learning a new language is a gratifying enterprise. I'm not going to tell you that it is always easy, but if you go down this road you will not regret it. Motivation often depends on having a clear purpose. The reasons below may help you find the stimulation you need.

Moving to a new country.
Learning the local language will make your integration in the local community a whole lot easier. Maybe many people in your new country speak English. Don't let that become the excuse not to learn the local language. It will allow you to integrate and connect with the local community in a whole other way. You also demonstrate an involvement and dedication to your new country that will be noticed.

Relatives and friends.
If you are around people who has a different first language from you learning their language will open up a whole new level in your relationship. Learning a language is also learning how to think and feel in a whole different way. Your relationships will change for the better.

At work.
Being able to speak more languages will increase your chances of getting a transfer, finding a new job, getting a promotion or going on business trips. When you work with people who from a different culture speaking their language will grease the skids for partnership and socializing. Maybe you deal with children and older people in you job. Speaking their first language will make their (and your) day a whole lot better.

Travel.
Even if you can get by with English, speaking the local language will change your travel experiences dramatically. Imagine being able to ask locals for restaurant tips, travel away from the tourist crowds, getting to know the locals and being able to read signs. It will really add another dimension to your vacation

Study abroad.
Speaking the local tongue will serve you well, even if the courses are in English. Living in a foreign country is the best way to learn a new language well. Don't let the opportunity get away. If you spend some time in advance learning the language you can be a part of the social scene from day one.

Get in touch with your roots.
Your family might have spoken a particular language in the past. If you have children you can learn it together as a family project. Once you have some proficiency try contacting relatives in the "old country" and plan a vacation. You will be treated like kings and see parts of the culture that would be otherwise closed to you.

Food.
Let say you enjoy the food or wine of a particular region. Speaking the language will make you a priced guest at any restaurant. If you enjoy making the food yourself all the best cookbooks will be available to you.

Personal development.
Learning a language is a personal challenge. It will also show you that there are different ways to view the world. The structure of your language determines how you think. A second language will offer you a different way to think about the world. You will also view you own culture and language through a new lens.

Whatever reason resonates with you I hope you will take on the challenge of learning a new language. It will be rewarding in more ways than you can think of and open up a larger part of the wold for you. Good luck!

Read More

7 Words – Intuitive Communication Model

Many people are justifiably concerned that their way of life is permanently at risk from climate changes, war and pollution. The problem lies in the way we think. Humanity has misunderstood the nature of reality and is now facing the inevitable consequences of having ignored all the signs that indicated that a new way had to be found. If we are collectively to change how we think, there needs to be some way that explains all of our experiences and is reasonably satisfactory to everyone. The 7 Words System offers this. It is defined by the use of 7 primary words—No, Hello, Thanks, Goodbye, Please, Sorry, Yes—and their 28 related keywords.

Each of us has our own individual strengths and weaknesses. Some are strong with No, weak with Hello; some good at Goodbye, and reluctant to say Sorry. A questionnaire has been devised, researched and statistically validated, which has the capacity to lead a person very quickly to an incisive degree of self-awareness. It can also be used as a tool for practitioners in one-to-one sessions of psychotherapy, also in group work and in relationship counselling.

Words are powerful. They shape the way we think and therefore how we act. If we misuse them by the employment of propaganda, deceit and sensationalism, then the mind becomes confused. Such confusion and the related suspicion can never lead to harmony and trust…it leads to conflict. To end war we must speak truth.

We can look differently at all aspects of life when we look through the lens of 7. We can see what is actually going on in any system and in any communication by analyzing its components into each of the 7 words. Life is constantly changing; empires come and go and beliefs constantly shift—and yet there are some fundamentals that never change. These are universal laws—and one of them is the law of 7. Intuitively we have understood the mystery of this number and it appears in our collective mythology repeatedly—including even the days of the week, which were created as seven without solid reasoning.

In personal development, corporate management, and in the context of our career decisions, there are many benefits. Employment profiling is useful for both employer and employee—if you are weak on Hello then it may be inappropriate to become a receptionist. The 7 stages of management are made clear—and are applied in personal and business strategies as a way to effect changes quickly, clearly and cleanly without omitting any essential aspects of the process.

At a higher level, we can see that there are new ways to comprehend global issues and therefore new approaches to address the major problems of our times.

War relates to No
Media Corruption relates to Hello
Poverty relates to Thank You
Environmental Issues relate to Goodbye
Human Rights relate to Please
Tyranny relates to Sorry
Persecution relates to Yes

Looking from the 7 Words perspective, we learn to see agreement between things that seemed very different, for example science and religion, Islam and Christianity—and we encourage people to develop their capacity for optimistic reframing through self-analysis and meditation. We can also understand our history in a new way, in which the Agricultural and Industrial Revolutions are understood as stages of the development of humanity’s consciousness. This enables us to put into new perspective the current crisis we are facing, to learn what we need to do and to begin the reorientation necessary to create a wholesome future together on Earth.

Read More

7 Ways To Stay Motivated

You know what it’s like. You set yourself a goal, something you want to achieve. You are excited and ready to take on the world, and then a few months later you can’t even be bothered to spend 10 minutes working towards achieving it.  Well welcome to being human! It is so easy to go from excitement to complete apathy but there are things you can do to ensure you stay motivated towards your goal and following are seven great ones!

1. Is Your Reason WHY Large Enough?

When I wanted to lose weight setting a goal to look great in clothes was not big enough, what didn’t help was the fact that I loved who I was and what I looked like, but my health had begun to show signs of being affected by my excess weight and this is the WHY I used to ensure I stayed on track. I started with 6 weeks of no diary, no wheat and red meat only once a week. Do you think I needed a big why to stay committed to such a regime??!! I knew that health is my true wealth. Having been unwell for 6 months and hardly able to walk had taught me that without my health my goals were useless. So maintaining a healthy body that would allow me to enjoy the fulfillment of my goals was the big WHY that kept me on track.

Stop and think about your reason WHY? What reason is big enough to keep you motivated at times when you want to give up and/or give in?

2. Create a visual and emotional image of what you want

Writing your goals down is an essential tool but not always enough to keep focused. Writing your goals down and having a visual image of you completing that goal adds fuel to the motivational fire. Writing goals down, having a visual image of your completed goal AND connecting this image with your emotions is the power of 3 that will ensure your motivation remains high. At any point during the day, or at any time when you are feeling in need of encouragement, you can simply stop, close your eyes, see your goal and evoke all the emotions achieving that goal holds for you. Nothing is more powerful!

3. Questions to ask before, during and after!

It is important to know not only why you are doing something but also WHAT. What achieving this goal will provide for yourself and your family. It is easy to believe that what you want is to make a million, but for many it is the lifestyle and the time freedom that this money has the potential to provide that will be the real motivation.

Spend time asking yourself questions that will help you identify what achieving your goal will provide. Questions such as:

•What will it bring me?
•What will it do for me, my family, and/or friends?
•What kind of lifestyle will I be able to have?
•What sacrifices will I need to make?
•What will be the impact on my current routine?
•What will be the impact on my family?
•What outcome do I want to achieve?
•What contributions will I be able to make

Motivation and staying motivated is easy when you know what the achievement of your goal will provide for you and we only really lose motivation when we lose sight of our goal or end result.

4. Creating a visual representation of what you want

Keep the motivational fires burning by creating a collage with the family of what your end result will look like, or paint a picture, write a poem, sing a song, or whatever creative endeavor excites you enough to complete it.

Whatever you create keep it in a place where you can see it constantly, I remember listening to someone talk about sticking a poster of making their first 100,000 on their ceiling so that as they woke up it was the first thing they saw each morning, and the last image in their mind before falling asleep.

Leave yourself reminders on your fridge door, on your bathroom mirror, in your car. The more places you are able to leave yourself little notes and reminders about what you want to achieve the better. Doing this will help your unconscious mind bring you the results you desire, whilst also supporting you in staying focused and motivated towards achieving your goal.

5.Get Support from people around you

Support from family and friends is important but also consider what other support is available to you. Books, mentoring, work colleagues, life coaching, forums – these are all things that can support you as you work towards achieving your goal. Also think about WHO can support you in staying motivated, can you buddy up with someone, do you have a boss or lecturer who will be happy to help you keep accountable.

One thing I recommend is that you tell as many people as you know about what you want to achieve, this has the effect of keeping you motivated to complete your goal because you have told so many people. However, a word of caution is needed here because it is easy for people to trample your dreams and fail to support you. You must first pick and choose carefully those people you know will want to support you, but also you must gain enough inner personal strength to be able to continue no matter what negative comments may come your way.

6.Develop Inner Personal Strength

Ultimately, the person who will determine whether you stay motivated and achieve your goal will be you. Your thoughts will determine your behavior which determines your results. Developing a strong inner personal strength about your ability to achieve and your ability to motivate yourself when you are in an unproductive state of mind is essential. Being able to see setbacks and failures as opportunities for continued growth and upset and emotional turmoil as opportunities to discover what you want and need, will determine how you view life. One of the best ways to inner personal strength is to read and listen to audios that inspire and motivate you. Continued learning is an essential part of being able to stay motivated.

7. Support from Continued Learning

If you are going to need to learn new skills to ensure you complete your goal then you it is a good idea to identify what learning you will need to undertake as early as possible. If you have planned out how you will achieve your outcome then you will already be aware of any areas where you need to strengthen your skills or out source to others who will be able to fulfill what you need.

There is nothing worse than getting halfway towards the completion of a goal and to be stopped because you are not able to complete something because of lack of knowledge and/or skills. This is a surefire way of dampening your excitement and your motivation.

Make a list of what you can and can’t do and who might be able to help you. Knowing this in advance can help you avoid getting frustrated because things aren’t getting done. If you are serious about developing your personal and professional life then I recommend getting yourself a Mentor or Life Coach, to ensure you stay on track.

You should also look at continued learning as it relates to your own personal development, continuing with your own personal development will ensure you are able to work through set backs quickly and stay motivated.

Staying motivated when you are looking to achieve your goals is essential for ultimate success. I have provided you with seven practical ways to achieve continued motivation and I recommend you use them all. Some of them such as creating a collage will be activities you perform occasionally, but others, such as continuing your personal development will be a continuous learning process. There is not one single thing that will determine your success in staying motivated but a combination of many, finding the combination that is right for you will change from goal to goal and will be an ongoing (fun filled) exploration.

Read More

7 Ways To Eliminate Self-help Programs That Won't Work For You!

Does your head start to buzz and your eyes start to cross every time you find yourself confronted with another self-help program? I don't blame you. So many people are on the self-help bandwagon that it has become too difficult and too time-consuming to separate the wheat from the chaff. Consequently, in the interest of sanity, you miss a lot of valuable resources because you toss everything into the trash.

Is there a solution? Yes, there is.

Every industry is full of those who talk in the abstract; that is, they don't really have a practical knowledge of what they're selling. Internet Marketing is a prime example. In my forays into this particular world in an attempt to educate myself, I encountered so many people who were only in it for the money. I can't tell you how many times I have signed up somewhere just to get a glimpse of what they offered only to discover that their sales pitch had more information in it than their product. After a few months of this, I was completely burned out! I began a daily ritual of hitting the trash button every time I saw an email from some affiliate or internet marketer.

Is this the kind of experience you've been having with self-help books and programs? Have you tossed the baby out with the bath water rather than spend any more time trying to sort through the mass of products out there? If it is, let me share some ideas with you about what I consider the qualities of self-help programs that can make a difference.

A VALUED RESOURCE:

1. Always presents information in a way that it has value for those who are seeking understanding but who have no background in the field AND it also has value for those who have been involved in the field for a while.

"For those who have eyes to see and ears to hear…" This phrase means that I see and hear different things depending on where I am on my journey. If I read a particular book five years ago and thought it was great, but today my interpretation of the material is vastly different, I am in possession of a valued resource. If I am able to see deeper layers to the work as I grow, it is indeed a valued resource!

2. Discusses things in a practical way. In other words, it relates the information to situations that are common to a lot of people so that I can identify with it.

If the body of a book or program is filled with grandiose examples or the writer/teacher spends most of the time citing cases of those who have been successful with their program, this is not useful information. Someone else's success is not my success. Their issues and their background are not necessarily the same as mine.

A valued resource gives me the "facts." It provides all the information I need to make decisions for myself so that I can address the beliefs and attitudes that are dominant in me.

3. Does not use "catch phrases" with no attempt at explaining their significance.

For example, the word "sin" has many connotations depending on the nature of a person's belief system. If I am to understand what they're saying, then I need to know how they define their terms. Do they define sin as a black mark on me or as a signal that I am off my path of well-being?

4. Never tries to convince me that my success is just a matter of "doing" certain things.

Doing things in the outer world, like making lists or following a particular regimen, is only one part of the process that effects permanent change in my life. I have to be willing to examine my thoughts and my feelings as well as my actions. You run across some systems that focus almost exclusively on emulating successful people. Nothing wrong with that, unless I never look at myself because I'm always looking at the focus of my attention. When that happens, my success, if it happens, is something I've forced into existence. It is not something that I have developed the consciousness for. In other words, something that grew out of my understanding. Consequently, it is on a shaky foundation.

5. Encourages me to think for myself.

Any self-help program that discourages me from thinking for myself, that is, tweaking what I've learned to understand myself is suspect. Growth is all about thinking creatively, and I can't very well do that if I take on the role of parrot!

6. Never promotes itself as the only source of information for my personal growth.

If a self-help program or teacher expects me to accept only what they teach, their teachings are contrary to the underlying principal of personal growth. The underlying principal of personal growth is about my being creative - taking information I receive and embracing it, molding it until it takes me to a new level of experience. To do this, I must be free to explore all ideas that seem pertinent to me. I may choose to explore all the teachings of a particular source because they resonate with me. That's okay because it is my choice.

7. Never assures me that my life will do a complete turn-around overnight.

Sure, my life is about change, but it is life-long change. It took a long time for me to develop the attitudes or beliefs that I currently hold. Most have become unconscious ways of looking at my life. Do you seriously think this is going to change overnight? Of course, I may be able to force a particular change near term, but the moment I take my attention from it, it will revert to the path of least resistance. So, even though I may have some new experiences right off, it is superficial. Real change comes from working on the underlying causes of my experiences, and that's a 24/7 job. There are no quick fixes for my life or yours! Anyone who tells me that they can permanently transform my entire life in a few quick and easy steps is totally ignoring 1) the work involved in change and 2) that my life is a journey of change through refinement.

Just as change takes time, so does making decisions about where to invest your energy in terms of your personal growth. Don't get discouraged or in too big of a hurry. Read about the people presenting the information. Make sure their desire is weighted toward wanting to help you rather than making money. There is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone making a living by helping other people. The difference lies in whether the money is a by-product of helping or the money is their primary motive for presenting the information. Of course, this is not so easy to determine sometimes. If they have a web site, check out their about us page. Google them. If they have podcasts or blogs, go there and check them out. Through all of this, you can get a feeling for the person(s). Trust your instincts!

Read More

7 Ways To Develop Momentum And Get Things Done

One thing that I learned from bicycle racing (actually, I am not much of a bicycle racer but I do triathlons - biking needs work) is the power of momentum. In bicycle racing the way to do better and use less energy is to pedal very, very fast and powerfully to start with, give it 120% and once you are up to speed, you can simply maintain a good even cadence.

I have often used this technique even with my car which tracks my Km per L (of course I don’t do major jack rabbit starts but I do get up to speed quickly and then go easy on the accelerator). I find this technique is the best way to maximize mileage. Save energy and get ahead faster.

I use this same technique to getting projects and tasks done. I find if I can simply start the project fast, I can often use the momentum to carry me through to its completion. So the key is to get started fast. Some techniques I use for this are:

1 - Ask someone to help start. Often just having someone else help gets things moving.

2 - Know your high energy times and start projects with a burst during one of those periods.

3 - Avoid distraction. Focus 100% on the task or priority that you are trying to get started on. Turn off email and the phone. Close your door. Get rid of papers on your desk.

4 - Know your outcome. The clearer you know what you want to accomplish, the more likely you are to accomplish it.

5 - Set a time limit. I know I can do almost anything for a short period of time. By setting a time limit like 15 or 20 minutes to work diligently on a project then give myself permission to quit, I often develop momentum.

6 - Be prepared. It is easier to develop and maintain momentum if you have all the tools and information ready.

7 - Finally, just do it. Dig in hard. Push hard. Remember the bicycle. A few hard pushes to start make things much easier to finish with less energy.

Using these techniques for gaining momentum can help you move any project forward faster and more easily.

Read More

7 Tips And Exercises To Boost Your Creativity

So, you have a problem or projects that has you stumped? Or you are not quite satisfied with some of your solutions? Try these ideas:

1.Gather Information: you might not have enough information about your project/problem to come up with a great creative solution. Exercise: Go to a source of information you don’t typically use. When is the last time you went to a library? Is there a government agency that has related information? How about a local community college, is there an instructor that teaches something connected to your subject? Clerks at bookstores are often very helpful. There may be trade magazines addressing your area of interest.

2. Be Active: yes, you read correctly. Your brain uses a lot of oxygen and does not work well when undernourished. Exercise: Go do something active and FUN! This will get the blood flowing and when you have fun, your creative juices start flowing. Do something that you haven’t done in long time: dance, roller skate, hike, ride horseback, garden, or ride a bike.

3. Change your viewpoint: As Einstein is quoted as saying: "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Your perception determines the path to a problem’s solution. Exercise: Look at your problem from another point of view. What would your problem look like if you were a different person? Imagine…from the viewpoint of a child, a co-worker, your dog, a gambler, a professional athlete, etc. This may sound silly, the point is to shake up your normal routine and help your brain create new pathways of thought.

4. Compare and Contrast: Compare your problem/issue/project to something very different; an object or a concept. Through juxtaposition, you may find combinations you never saw before. Exercise: Grab a blank sheet of paper. Write your problem at the top. Next to it write an unrelated idea such as “shoe”, “the national highway system”, “a candy bar”, “cat litter”….you get the idea! Underneath write every way you can think that these two things are alike. Remember to have fun. This is simply another method of changing your viewpoint as well as generating more ideas.

5. Be Visual: Thinking is very fluid and visual, making use of symbols and pictures instead of words. Give your problem a color…even a smell! What shape is it? What does it feel like to the touch? Exercise: This is best done with a large sheet of paper or a white board. Use a regular piece of paper if that’s all you have. Draw a rectangle in the center and label it with your problem/project. Draw at least 5-6 radiating lines coming out from the box. Label these lines as different aspects of your project. For instance, if the problem is Planning a Wedding on a Tight Budget, some of the radiating lines could be Food, Entertainment, and Wedding Dress. If the problem is Building a Team at work, some of the lines could be Collaboration, Productivity, and Communication. At the end of each line write whatever you think needs to happen with that area. This exercise can help you see the big picture as well as prioritize all the parts of your project.

6. Generate LOTS of ideas: You have gathered information, pumped up your enthusiasm and reviewed your problem from many angles. It’s time to really let loose with ideas. Exercise: Brainstorm! I mean REALLY brainstorm. Don’t just toss out a handful of ideas and call it quits. Put some energy into it. Collaboration is good for this as everyone will get some different ideas. Hand everyone a piece of paper (preferably large, that you can stick to the wall). Set a time limit. Allow enough time to get plenty of ideas but not so much time that you judge the ideas coming out of you (5-10 minutes). Also set a goal for the number ideas, a goal that will force you to work fast. Speed is important as well as reserving any judgment.

7. Give it to your subconscious: Let you subconscious mind have another crack at it. You have plenty of information and ideas. It may be challenging to pick the best course of action. Exercise: Sleep on it! Let your mind have it while you are resting. For this to really work you must do a review just before going to bed and place a notebook by your bed so you can jot down ideas if you wake up during the night and first thing in the morning. Intend that you will have some answers when you wake up. As you wake up, you may have to catch the ideas in the half-awake state. The notebook is right beside you so you won’t lose any good thoughts.

Congratulations! You came up with some very creative solutions to your project. You can repeat this process with any subject.

Read More

7 Steps To Overcome Your Fears

Are you a person with fears? Hey you are not alone! Everybody is frightened of something. Some fears are good for you they stop you doing bad or dangerous things. But other fears are bad for you they stop you doing things you would really like to do, or stop you being the person you would really like to be.

They say that fear is only a state of mind. Great, but how do you stop your fear when you are "shivering in your shoes" at the thought of something that frightens you.

Well I think there is a way to rid your self of any fear. It worked for me and for the person who first showed me the method. If you follow the steps below, I guarantee you will, with practice, be able to handle any fear that comes at you.

The method consists of just 7 steps but you have got to take each step in order and you may have to practice some of the steps over and over but if you do I guarantee you will succeed in riding yourself of your fears whatever they may be. So here we go.

Step1

Get yourself a nice big legal pad and a ball- point pen. Now find yourself a place where you can be alone. Make sure you are nice and comfortable because you may want to be there for some time.

Step 2

Now take your nice big pad and with your pen draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left hand side of the page write in big capital letters "MY FEAR/S" On the right hand side of the page write in big capital letters "WHY AM I AFRAID?"

Step 3

On the left hand side of the page underneath the heading write down what you are afraid of. If you have more than one fear put a number in front of each but write 'em all down and if you have to go on to the next page go to the next page.

Step 4

Now pick your worst fear and on the right hand side of your page write down your reasons why this thing, or person or whatever frightens you. What does your fear consist of? How do you feel? Why is it preventing you from doing what you want to do or be?

Step 5

Next take a new sheet of paper and write down what you would really and truly like to do/be if only you weren't afraid. You have to be absolutely honest with yourself here or this step won't work.

Step 6

Now sit back, relax and close your eyes and imagine how you would feel if you could kill your fear stone dead. Imagine doing the thing you wanted to do or being the person you wanted to be without any fear. Pretend your fear is all gone. Now this step doesn't come easy to everyone and you may have to practice it a bit. But it's the most important step in the whole program and I assure you that if you practice and practice it will pay off!

Step 7

Take your pad again and write down how you felt when you were imagining your success. Did you feel nice and warm and confident? Did you still feel a little frightened? Write it down. Spend time thinking imagining and writing.

And that's it! That's the method. It works for me and it works for the person who first showed it to me and it has worked for many of our friends. It will work for you too, if you let it. But you must follow the 7 steps. One last thing remember Step 6 is the most important and you may need to practice it a bit.

Read More

7 Steps To Manifesting More Money Into Your Life Effortlessly & Easily Using The Law Of Attraction

The most obvious step to manifesting more money is to "make" more money. The first thing that may come into your mind is to either work over-time at your current job or business, or get a second (or third job). Although, these are some very effective ways to increase your cash-flow, they may not lead to an increased money consciousness into your life.

Let me explain. You can get a second job or work more hours in your current job, or business, but then you could turn around and spend more money than you are currently. Many people are caught in this viscous cycle of spending and owing. They can't seem to make the money that is coming in work for them. They wonder if the law of attraction is really working in their lives.

If this may have been the case with you, then you will benefit from the following steps, so that you can manifest more prosperity into your life using the law of attraction.

If you have seen The Secret Movie, then you may have an idea of how to use the law of attraction to manifest more money. Basically, it's called repeated focus.

Step 1. Focus on money. Money is your friend. You have to develop a healthy love for money. Many people are afraid of loving money, because they confuse a healthy love for money with greed or arrogance. This couldn't be further from the truth. A healthy love of money is the same as the love of flowers, cars, chocolate ice cream, your pet, family, friends, or anything else in this beautiful universe that makes life worth living. When it comes to using the law of attraction, it's all about balance and being open to receiving more.

In short, the law of attraction states that like attracts like. We are all like magnets, attracting those things that we think, feel and see inside our consciousness on a consistent basis.

Therefore, make it a point to meditate on money every day. Take at least 30 minutes to an hour each day to get into the feeling of having more than enough money. Envision actual money in your hands. If this is hard for you to do, then start by envisioning it for your friends and loved ones. Imagine them with more than enough money and living a happy life. The more you do this, the easier it gets to think of yourself this way too.

Step 2: Eliminate debts. Set up an automatic payment system for all your credit card bills and debts that you owe. This way you are taking care of what you owe and you are free to focus on manifesting money and abundance.

Step 3: Create A Budget - Sit down and write out your monthly money income. Then on a separate sheet of paper sit down and write out your monthly costs and expenses. Then create a reasonable budget that you can handle, while at the same time cutting unnecessary expenses.

Step 4: Cut Down on Unnecessary Expenses - Do you really have to buy that cup of coffee every morning before going to work? What about eating out? Can you eat at home more often, thereby saving the cost of having to dine out all the time? What about impulse buying? Can you make a list before going to the store and then buy exactly what is on that list?

Step 5: Increase Your Income. The most obvious way is to work more hours at the job or take on more work in the business. But what about setting up multiple streams of income that flow in on an automatic and consistent basis? Many people have set up a home based business over the Internet using the law of attraction. In many cases, they have not had to work much more than usual to create multiple streams of income.

An excellent book that has helped me, is "The Science Of Getting Rich", by Wallace D. Wattles. In "The Science Of Getting Rich", you'll learn to tap into the plane of abundance. You'll learn that there is really no such thing as competition when it comes to building your home based business by using the law of attraction.

Increasing your cash flow does not have to mean struggle or hardship. It's all about how you view things. This is one of the things that The Secret Movie DVD did not go into detail about.

Also, another book I recommend is "The Laws Of Thinking: 20 Secrets To Using The Divine Power Of Your Mind To Manifest Prosperity", by Bishop E. Jordan. This book makes you realize that absolutely nothing happens without thought. This includes using the law of attraction to manifest prosperity.

Step 6: Save! Make it a habit to save. Even if you can only manage to save $1 every month, take that dollar and put it into savings. Don't touch your savings for at least a year. The more you save the easier it will get for you to save more. This is what I call the saving mentality. Sometimes emergencies are necessary, but the key to saving is balance.

Step 7: Become Thankful - look at the money that you already have. Become thankful that you have this! There are people who don't even have a fourth of what you have. By becoming thankful on a regular basis you focus on the good things you already have and give them a chance to expand and grow even more.

The above steps are just basic principles that you can use to manifest more money into your life effortlessly using the law of attraction. If you've seen "The Secret Movie DVD", then you'll remember that the law of attraction is a very powerful principle. With continued persistence and dedication, you'll start harness the law of attraction and manifest a life of ever increasing money, success, and abundance.

Read More

7 Steps To Effective Goal Setting

You don't have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.

- Sir Edmund Hillary, first climber to successfully summit Mt. Everest

Setting goals is one of the most commonly used training tools. Goals can organize the competitors’ focus and endeavors towards achieving a specific task. They also increase persistence and motivation for long term training. Having a goal can help a performer find new learning strategies. Unfortunately, people’s goals are all too often made incorrectly. If you are interested in setting some goals, or even reevaluating your current goals, follow these seven steps for proper goal setting.

Step 1) Define your goal

Ask yourself these questions:

- What exactly do you want to accomplish?
- What achievement would be worth your very best effort?
- What would you attempt if you knew it was impossible to fail?
- What would you go for if you knew this was your very last chance?

Make sure your vision is clear and powerful, one that you would follow despite whatever setbacks and failures that might arise along the way. The goal has to be very specific (i.e. “My goal is to place in the top 32 of the Division I NAC,”), rather than vague or general (i.e. “I want to fence well.”) so you can tell whether or not you have actually reached it.

Step 2) Where are you right now?

Carefully examine where you are right now in terms of your goal. Have you been just “getting by” or do you train to reach the next level? Are you willing to do things you may not want to do in order to reach your goal? Identify when you fence your best and what creates that kind of situation.

Step 3) Be honest about what you need to do

In order to get where you want to go, you have to know how to get there. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What sort of situations do you thrive or deteriorate? Identify at least one aspect in each of the following skill type categories that needs improvement: physical (i.e. gains in speed), tactical (i.e. develop a bout winning move), technical (i.e. more accurate point control) and mental (i.e. higher confidence).

Step 4) Formulate a daily improvement plan

This is the most important step of the goal setting process. Ask yourself, “What can I do on a daily basis to work towards reaching my goal?” For each area that you identified in step 3, write out at least three or four specific actions that you can take. Write them as “I” statements and in the present tense. For example, if you need to improve your speed, you can list, “I do my plyometric exercises for fifteen minutes, three times a week.” You are more likely to follow that than, “I will get faster legs.”

Step 5) Make and work on short-term goals

The goal that you set in step 1 may take a long time to reach, perhaps months or even years. Set short-term goals to keep you motivated throughout this time. Achieving these goals will give you feedback on your progress towards your ultimate goal. They should be process orientated, and reflect that achieving your goal is an ongoing process.

Step 6) You must commit!

It is easy to say you’re going to do something- actually doing it is another story. This is analogous to people who make a New Year’s resolutions to lose weight; seldom people actually go through with it. Second guessing yourself, missing opportunities and being hesitant will only delay your eventual success. Keep reminding yourself to enjoy the journey along the way!

Step 7) Continually monitor your progress

Every day ask yourself, "Am I getting closer to my goal?" Is your goal plan actually working or does it need adjustment? If your answer is "I'm not sure", then you are not really making progress. Write down what your small success and lessons learned along the way, or make a checklist that charts your progress. In times when it seems like your goal is too far out of reach, you can look at your progress list and visually see how far you have come, and how much closer you are to your goal.

Read More

7 Quick And Easy Steps To Manage Your Time More Effectively

The internet is one of those things in life that borders on the verge of a good versus evil battle. It can be the greatest money making tool in existence, or the most malicious time waster. When people venture into the business of internet marketing, they often think it’s going to be a piece of cake. Most people who decide upon internet marketing as a business venture love the internet to begin with and want to unleash its evident power to their advantage.

Sometimes these web lovers are sorely disappointed because it seems that they work for hours upon hours and don’t get anything accomplished. That, my friends, is the nature of the beast!

If you intend to do business on the internet, you absolutely have to be disciplined in order to manage your time. Here are 7 steps to doing a better job of it:

1. Set work hours

It is so easy to waste time when you should be working and to end up working unreasonable hours. Internet work can seemly turn into an addiction overnight if you don’t set specific work hours and stick with them.

2. Schedule play hours

Don’t spend your work hours playing – surfing the net, visiting internet forums or participating in chat rooms. Set aside leisure time for such activities if you are prone to them.

3. Schedule communications

Set specific times during your work hours to open email. This should usually be the first thing and the last thing you do each work day. If you open your email periodically and respond to it, your work hours can be eaten up in a hurry! Turn off any indicators that tell you you’ve got new email.

4. Block the SPAM

Use a SPAM blocker to isolate or block SPAM email and keep it up to date. Use a separate email address for your business and personal email. Open personal email during your leisure time and business email during your scheduled communication time within your work hours.

5. Make a long-term plan

Make a long-term plan of what you wish to accomplish through your internet marketing. Having a vision with milestones and deadlines will keep you focused and working purposefully day after day.

6. Plan your days

Plan your days ahead of time with a “to do” list that ensures important things will get accomplished. Always plan a little time for unexpected interruptions or demanding little emergencies.

7. Kill the messenger

If you use messenger programs such as MSN Messenger or Yahoo Messenger, log out during your work hours. If you conduct business communications through the messenger program, open separate accounts or block contacts so that only your business associates that you need to be available to can contact you via the messenger program during your work hours.

Implementing these 7 simple tips will help you to master your time and will skyrocket your productivity!

Read More

7 Questions You Should Ask To Discover What Really Makes You Tick

Be all you can be, but it's not always that easy!

Limiting beliefs, negative self doubt, fear and worry all lay before us ready to block our path at every turn. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life and the way things are but I always create something new and exciting to aim for.

One of the biggest challenges for people is that they really want to achieve something in life but are afraid of what will happen once they achieve it!

As an example, a coaching client of mine wanted to travel around the world but her fear was that if she did there would be nothing left to aim for. In this case wanting was more powerful than having! When the day came for her to return to the UK having visited all the countries she hoped for, what would be left to do? Nothing! Or so she thought.

Knowing what makes you “tick” and what excites you into action will support you in living a life that is full of fun, adventure and possibility. The thing to do is to always be creating, not at the expense of the goals you have, flitting from one to another without accomplishing any of them, but as a way to ensure you always have something to reach for as one goal is achieved.

Below are 7 questions you can ask yourself to discover what makes you "tick"

1. What do I really want and why do I REALLY want it?

There can be so many things you want to do with your life, some you are actually doing, but many more you are just talking about endlessly day after day. Sometimes they can be things that your partner, parents or family want you to do. Or perhaps you are doing it to prove something to other people, teach someone a lesson, or be right about something.

STOP! Write down not only what you want but why you want it, if you find it doesn’t excite you then throw it away, if you find you are actually doing it because someone else wants you to or because you are proving something, consider ditching it for something better. Really think about “What do I WANT” and then when you write the reason why you want it ensure it is because it will provide you with access to something that excites you.

2. Should I really change?

If history has taught us one thing, it's to cherish the life that we have gone through with all of its challenges and excitement. Maybe the question to really ask is “Am I ready to change?” and if not, why not? Are you holding yourself back for fear of the unknown? What will be the consequences of ending or starting something for those around me? These are questions you can consider, but be aware of using them as an excuse for not taking action!

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much happening around us there seems to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see “the light” as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. There is no need to fear the unknown or what is going to happen next. Instead if what is at the end of your personal tunnel is a train, rather than view it as something waiting to knock you over you could choose to take it for a ride!

4. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be soul destroying so consider how much you do for yourself compared with other people. Do you give yourself enough time to relax and have fun? Include some of this in your goal towards your new exciting future. Once you discover whether you have done enough for yourself or whether there is more you can do, then you are at least on a path towards doing something about it.

5. Am I happy with where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! Appreciate and be grateful for the small things in life, can’t think of any? Well how about having the capability to read this article. If you are on line be grateful for your computer and the internet, if you have a printed copy be grateful to be able to read and see the words. Be grateful for the gloves that keep your hands warm and the music you love to listen/dance to. Be happy with where you are today, even if it is not where you want to be and then make the promise to take action towards where you want to be. Oh! And make sure you take action!!

6. Am I appealing to other people?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit. You are doing this for you, NOT so that somebody else likes you or because “they” say it’s what you need to do. Making yourself appealing to other people may also be about changing your attitude. Are you usually bossy, intimidating or angry? These are qualities that won’t help you win friends and influence people! Neither will being a total yes person. Look at whether you appeal to others and how you can improve on your inner personal strength so that you appeal to all people in all situations whilst retaining your personal power.

7. What motivates and excites me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of them may be the hardest part. Take time to recall a situation or event at which you were really motivated and/or excited, then think about a time when you weren’t that motivated. What was present in the motivated situation that wasn’t in the unmotivated one? When you discover that you have some tools to ensure that you remain motivated and excited AT ALL TIMES!

So what really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but if you approach what really makes you tick with the feeling that it’s not possible to attain you are already blocking your way and giving up before you even start that journey.

When you are feeling as if life is drifting away, or you are feeling a lack of direction then discovering what makes your tick, what motivates you to achieve and what you want for yourself and your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

On a course I attended they asked the question; “What’s your impossible promise?” think about that. What goal could you have that is SO HUGE it would not be achieved in your lifetime but would leave a legacy that others could continue?

Read More

7 Leading Causes Of Stress

In 1967, Thomas H. Holmes and Richard H. Rahe, from the University of Washington, did a study on the connection between significant life events and illness. As part of that study, they compiled a chart of the major causes of stress. That chart, which contained 43 causes of stress in 1967, was updated to 55 causes in 2006. Apparently, society is finding more causes to feel stressed.

If you knew the leading causes of stress in your life, would you take action to eradicate them? Can you eradicate stress – or is it an inoperable condition that will be with you all of your life, possibly causing your eventual death?
   
Which Is Your Leading Cause of Stress?

1. Finances

Most studies agree that finances are a leading cause of stress. In an online poll conducted in 2005 by LifeCare, Inc., 23 percent of respondents named finances as the leading cause of stress in their lives. Financial stress has led the list in many modern polls.

Some who name finances as the leading cause of stress cite major purchases they have to make, such as a home or car. Others are stressed by a loss of income, or mounting credit card debt. For some, financial stress will eventuate in bankruptcy. While college students stress over paying for an education, Baby Boomers and older senior citizens find that retirement income can be a major cause of stress.

2. Work

Closely tied to finances as a cause of stress is work. Our jobs or careers seem to cause constant stress. In the LifeCare poll, 21 percent of those responding listed this as the leading cause of stress in life.

How is the workplace a cause of stress? We worry about getting and keeping adequate employment. We worry about new types of work or new responsibilities. We struggle to climb a career ladder, overwhelmed by the demands. Work conditions may change, or we may have interpersonal trouble at work. Students, especially teenagers and college age students, cite school work as a cause of stress. Sometimes, work stress is brought on by others. Sometimes, we bring it on ourselves.

3. Family

Family, wonderful though each member may be, is also a leading cause of stress. Arguments erupt with a spouse or other family member. Parents divorce. Children marry. The ebb and flow of family life is filled with stress. A child moves out – an aging parent moves in.

Family health is also a leading cause of stress. A sick family member, a serious injury, pregnancy, miscarriage, or abortion all cause stress. Family changes of other kinds bring stress, too. Adoption, relocation, and job changes for just one family member can cause stress for all.
   
4. Personal Concerns

Personal concerns that are only indirectly created by others are another top cause of stress. Lack of control tops the list of personal concerns. Every human has a deep-seated desire for control over his or her own life. When control is weak or missing in a given area, we experience stress. To many people, a lack of control over their own time is a leading cause of stress. We want to determine when we do tasks around the home, or at work. Holding a job, participating in the children’s carpool to school, driving family to soccer practices, shopping, and scout meetings while trying to keep the household running can create major stress. You would like to control your time, rather than let others’ demands control it, but that is not always possible.

We may be involved in legal proceedings that cause stress. We may be wrestling with a bad habit. We may be going through changes. Personal change of any kind can be a cause of stress.

5. Personal Health and Safety

Most people find that personal health is a leading cause of stress. For some, the stress is linked to obesity, and a desire to lose weight. For others, the stress is a personal bas habit that affects health and must be changed. For example, smoking, abuse of alcohol or other drugs. Illness or injury, whether less or more serious, can be a leading cause of stress for many people. Incontinence can be an ongoing concern. Personal health is more or less stressful according to the degree of seriousness and our personal outlook on health.

Personal safety is also a leading cause of stress. Women, more than men, tend to stress about their own and others’ safety. Adults tend to stress more than young people, who may act invincible. Crime is a factor, as is

6. Personal Relationships

Whether it is a friendship, dating, separation, marriage, divorce, or re-marriage, a relationship can be a leading cause of stress for many. We all want love, and that is potentially available in relationships, but getting from A to B can be very stressful. Some resort to online relationships that are easier to handle. Others withdraw and become recluses. Either way, the demands on time, finances, and emotions can cause ongoing stress.

7. Death

Probably the most wrenching cause of stress is the death of a loved one or close friend. Even the death of a pet can be stressful. Children are always a source of stress for parents, but when a child dies, the stress is overwhelming. The same is true when a lifetime spouse passes on.

Win or Lose

Causes of stress change as we age. The stressed child who threw tantrums becomes a young student, stressed by the school bully. The young student becomes a teenager, stressed by acne, hormones, and dating. The teenager becomes a young adult trying to handle the stresses of leaving home, adjusting to college life, and managing finances. Life progresses to first jobs, marriage, children, and so on. Even if you move to a secluded cabin in the woods, stress will follow you.

Gaining knowledge of the leading causes of stress is important. Using that knowledge to win over unhealthy stress is vital.

Read More

7 Great Tips On Using Your Free Affirmations

Affirmations are a simple and effective way to influence your subconscious mind. It is quite easy for you to search the Internet to find tones of free affirmations in various categories. I have also written another article on how you can write your own affirmations. But this one is going to focus on ways to increase their power!

Remember that it is always better to stick to a certain group of affirmations for a while, since we absorb them faster this way. Also, you should feel the desired result taking place already.

Written below are 7 different way to make your free affirmations more powerful…

1. You should get into a relaxed state of mind. When this happens, our conscious minds are less intrusive, thus leaving our subconscious minds wide open. You should use this to your advantage.

2. Repeat them while looking at yourself in the mirror.

3. We all tend to remember rhymes and tunes more easily. So choose your affirmations and just get a bit creative.

4. The times just before sleeping and after waking up are great for influencing the subconscious. So make sure you use them at these times.

5. If you are in a place where it would not be appropriate for you to use them out loud. You can just repeat it to yourself mentally. It helps if you imagine it getting louder and louder.

6. Write them down. This has much more power than just verbally repeating it. I would suggest that you write each one at least 10 times daily or so. Of course, the more you do it the better.

7. Write them down on pieces of paper and stick then around your home or workplace. This way, you are always reminded of them. Just make sure it is a place you visit often.

You are probably wondering how long it will take you to see changes in yourself, right? Well, it is scientifically proven that it takes 21 days for one person to change form one habit to another. So don’t lose heart, just keep doing it for a while. Remember, you have an infinite number of free affirmations from which you can choose from!

Read More

7 Essential Steps To Overcoming Adversity

I might never have found happiness and success. Why? For starters, I am the child of rape, born to an unwed teenage mother on welfare. Instead, I overcame life’s obstacles of poverty, abuse and neglect. Now I’m a successful entrepreneur, author and media personality who has achieved financial freedom and independence. There are even plans to make a movie about my rags-to-riches life! Clients and audiences everyday have dubbed me "The Girl Next Door Who Made It Big! (Blessings In God).

If I was able to leave my dysfunctional life behind at the age 17 (with only a Wal-Mart paycheck in my pocket), anyone can! Come explore with me YOUR personal journey to “The Dawning of a Rich Life”:

BEING RICH

Most people never realize what “rich” truly means. Building wealth isn’t just defined in money. It’s richness in Mind, Body and Spirit. I measure my prosperity in the number of friends, hopes, accomplishments, and feelings of safety I now have. Decide now to be really rich, never settle, empower yourself… and enduring wealth will come to you.

WE NEED HEROES

Only by striving for something better can I hope to be a role model for others (so far so good!). So who is my hero? God, first and foremost. But, thankfully, humanity has been blessed with others we can all emulate. Oprah Winfrey is certainly someone who has chosen to overcome adversity in her life. Have you thought about the difference this one woman is making? She continues to inspire me to keep reaching.

READ AND LEARN

Never stop finding new information and new viewpoints. Many books have greatly influenced me in positive ways. And you needn't be an author or journalist to appreciate the vast knowledge available in libraries, book stores, the news media and online.

GIVING IS RECEIVING

I support many charities and organizations that touch my heart. We receive back tenfold when we give time and energy to help our communities and our nation. I’m executive director of the Antley-Bixler Foundation and I’m also actively involved with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization. You, too, can get involved by feeding the hungry, rescuing the needy, reaching abused and neglected kids, volunteering and donating.

CONSIDER YOUR HEALTH

A health scare prompted me to began a major re-evaluation of my life. I discovered what the medical industry isn’t telling us. What can YOU do to improve your health so your happier, more meaningful, more abundant life will last longer?

OVERCOMING FEAR

By facing the most fear-generating issues in life, you can move on Whether your concern is going to the dentist … being rejected by someone … trying something new or redefining something familiar … asking for help or giving it -- ultimately any fear can be conquered.

FORGIVENESS

Don’t hurt yourself with energy-zapping grudges and bitterness. Remember to find forgiveness, even if you can’t forget. I went from "Beer Girl to Business Woman.” I could have been a topless dancer or kept working at Wal-mart, but I knew there was something better for me. Let’s all look ahead at the new horizon to the Dawning of whatever tomorrow holds!

Read More

7 Different Stress Management Techniques

Stress, burnout and physical exhaustion have become a way of life for many people. You need to feel that you can get a handle on what stresses you, and diffuse this stress in different ways so as to maintain both your physical and emotional health.

The ways we and others cause stress can come from habits or our own thoughts and feelings about how things are going. Or perhaps your own actions can be adjusted to cause less stress.

If you want to be calm and relaxed, with less stress then be sure to read these different stress management techniques for some ideas to help.

1. Be organized. You can plan all you want, but if you cannot find the project, list or information you were to work with, it is pretty stressful.

2. Make a list of what you want to accomplish, and then decide which are the most important things to do on that list. Do that first and then go to your less important items.

3. Allow for interruptions and changes. If you schedule yourself so tight that you can’t be interrupted for the 15 minutes you spent talking to an unexpected caller, you may find yourself highly stressed. Chill out and realize that there will be some interruptions and you can handle that.

4. Have realistic expectations of yourself and others. No one is superman. You cannot get three days work done in one day. Don’t wait till the last minute and put so much stress on yourself with huge amounts of work.

5. Take some time for a break a couple times a day. It is like changing gears and allows your mind to rest for a few minutes while you do something you enjoy, not something you have to do.

6. Find some time each day to exercise or take a walk. This helps to burn off more stress.

7. Once you are done for the day, take some time to relax. Find hobbies that you enjoy and that reduce your stress.

Stress is a part of life, but you also need ways to de stress and not let it get the best of you. These different stress management techniques and tips should help you find ways to manage your stress.

Read More

6 Ways To Dramatically Imrprove Your Eye Contact Skills

Is your eye contact aggressive, is it soft, is it inviting, do you love with your eyes? Eye contact is a very tricky art to master but vital to effective communication. How can you make it better?

Eye contact provides social information to the person you are listening to and talking to. Too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact and you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking. It is an often overlooked skill to have and an under utilised skill when communicating with people. You can see masters of eye contact in great sales persons, politicians, and good public speakers.

I realised the importance of eye contact when I was counseling people face to face. I noticed when I broke eye contact the person would stop speaking. When I maintained eye contact the person would continue talking knowing that I was interested in what they had to say.
Physiological signs of eye contact

Street traders know the importance of the eyes when using their selling skills to keep their potential buyers interested. When you are aroused or interested in an object your pupils will dilate and this is a big cue for salesmen all over the world.

Also when you are interested in someone sexually your pupils will dilate and you hold the person’s gaze a little longer than normal. When I was single I always knew when a girl was interested in me through her eyes, now that I am married if I get the same signs I discourage eye contact.
Every day conversation and eye contact

We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage.

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. For example if your are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your eyes, if you are loving someone it is good to stare into the pool of the eyes.

6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group - When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. However you contact maintain eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual - It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don’t look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something. Try it just now: don’t move your head, and think about the first time you started school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone – When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling someone is to use what I call ‘The triangle’. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as ‘yes’, ‘Uh –huh’ ‘mm’ etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4. Arguing – Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an affective way to win an argument without saying a word.

5. Attracting someone – When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don’t smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone’s body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone – My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wife’s pupils will dilate and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more.

Read More

"Who's The Boss?" 10 Ways To Start Taking Control

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For

Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions

A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes

Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts

Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"

In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)

You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity

By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person

Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination

If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they're uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won't solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we're turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we're not doing our best.

Yours sincerely
Daryl Yew

Read More

10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself: A Preparation To Self-Improvement

Self-improvement: improvement of one's condition through one's own efforts.

I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when there are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. There are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life! Do you earn enough money? Hate your job? Wanna start your own business?

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

So there we have it. 10 simple questions to ask yourself. Do you want to improve? I do not have all the answers for you. You can only answer for yourself.

Someone once asked me :’Daryl, why you working so damn hard? Would earning more money make you happy?’

To that I answered :’I am not working hard at all. Not as hard as I should, but u enjoyed it. I enjoy the process and the rewards I get. Earning more money does make me happier. It pays for the bills, the nice ring I could get my wife and the vacation I deserve.’

Materialistic that reply may seem, but the little materialistic goals in my life gets me moving off my fat behind and seek ways to improve my life.

Self-improvement: improvement of one's condition through one's own efforts

I have my motivation. What about you ?

Yours sincerely
Daryl Yew

Read More