11 Great ways to relieve stress

In our lives today, we often find ourselves so busy taking care of the home, the children, our businesses, our social life, our children's social life, our bills and just life in general that we often forget to take care of ourselves. 

With us wearing so many hats in life, we often find ourselves stressed and worn out.  But there are remedies for this.  For me personally, I find that by making myself indulge in at least one of the following during my week, I am much happier and a lot less stressed.  I find myself enjoying this "My Time" but I also sometimes try to get my family involved so that we all can lead a more stress free life.  


1.) Try to live Simply
2.) Take a nice long scenic walk, perhaps the beach or the lake.  (Even invite a friend)
3.) Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance
4.) Light up your electric simmering (aroma) pot with a softly scented aroma.  This allows your senses to relax, thus allowing you to relax.  Then curl up on the sofa with a good book
5.) Sink into your tub for a long, luxurious soak at the end of the day.  Light a few nicely scented candles, turn off the lights and let the glow and scent of the candle relax your mind, body and soul.
6.) Splurge just a little and go in for a professional massage at your local day spa
7.) Go have a manicure and pedicure done.  (And I truly suggest the Spa Pedicure – ohh la la!)
8.) How about your favorite movie?  You know the one that just made you laugh, cry and smile.
9.) Another great idea is your local Coffee Stop.  This is especially nice if it has a book store inside.  Grab a cup of coffee or cappuccino and a magazine and just relax with the latest Hollywood gossip or a wonderful romance book
10.)  Got a best or very dear friend you haven’t talked to in awhile?  Pick up the phone and call her and reconnect. 
11) The number one Stress Reliever:  Take a Vacation!!!

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10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

Do you get out of your car with a queasy stomach, a headache and your blood pressure registering through the roof? If you do, that  energy vulture called stress may have sent your pulse skyrocketing. In a study conducted at the University of California at Irvine, researchers found that the stress of commuting takes a major toll on health. According to the study, it has direct physiological effects of raising blood pressure and releasing stress hormones into the body. Not only that, long commutes (more than 18 miles one way) may also increase the likelihood of having a heart attack due to exposure to high levels of air pollutants, which appears to be a risk factor for heart disease.

Although there is no antidote to stressful commuting, there are lots of ways to shoo off the energy vulture. Here's how to thrive while you drive.

1. Prepare in advance

One of the best ways to lessen the strain of road rage is to prepare everything the night before. Clothes, documents, attache cases, and even packed lunches should be set the day before to avoid the morning rush. With everything champing at the bit, you'd save plenty of time to do your morning routines, devour a good breakfast and enjoy special moments with the family. Best of all, you can dash out the highway free of traffic congestion.

2. Sleep well and wake up early

A good night's sleep rejuvenates the body. Make it a habit to have enough sleep and to rise early. If you are already stressed out the day before, an incomplete repose takes over cumulative stress effects into your life at work and at home. Your frustration levels at work eventually rises, your brainpower falters, and your mood at home sours. You have no energy left for enjoying life.

3. Juggle your work hours

Why pack the freeways with all the other "9-to-5"ers when you can try a ten-to-six or an eight-to-four shift? Depending on your company's work policy, try to check out other shifts that fit your lifestyle. Choose one that would help you get rid of energy-depleting stress and allow you to lighten your highway woes.

4. Share your ride

It may be a hassle to coordinate your arrival and departure with another person or two, but carpooling is worth it. Studies show that ridesharing lowers commuter stress significantly. With carpooling, there is less air and noise pollution, less traffic congestion, and you can relax more while someone else does the driving.

5. "Cocoon" in your car

Instead of getting worked up when traffic is at a standstill, utilize your time wisely. Listen to the radio or pop in some music tapes to take your mind off the stop-and-go driving and traffic tie-ups. If you like to read but just can't have time to flip pages of a book, check out books on cassette. Many libraries have full-length books on tape as well as abridged versions. You can even learn a new language or do some car exercises like shoulder rolls, neck extensions and tummy tucks to help you stay awake and relax.

6. Pillow your back and squirm

When you're standing, the lumbar area of your spine (the lower portion) normally curves inward, toward your abdomen. However, when you're sitting, it tends to slump outward squeezing your spinal disks and putting stress on them. According to back expert Malcolm Pope, Ph.D.,director of the Iowa Spine Research Center at the University of Iowa, it helps to support your back by tucking a rolled towel or a pillow in that lumbar section. In cases of longer drives, since sitting in one position for longer than 15 minutes gradually stiffens you even with a back pillow, make necessary adjustments for a comfy ride. For instance, you can try putting most of your weight on one buttock and then the other. Then, shift the position of your seat or your buttocks slightly. You may even try sliding down in your seat and sit up again for fun.

7. Work out after work

Since the evening rush is worse than the morning rush because of the compounded fatigue from the workday, it is best to wait out the traffic. Work out at a gym near your office or take meditation classes to relieve your stress. If you plan to go to dinner, see a movie or go shopping, try to do these things near work, delaying your departure enough to miss the maddening rush.

8. Give yourself a break

It may be a good idea to give yourself some day off from work. Many companies today offer compressed working hours or longer working days to give way to work-free days for you to unwind.

9. Move your office

If your job is a long drive ahead everyday, inquire at work if the company would allow you to work at home some days of the week or if you can work near your place. An alternative work schedule would make you feel less tense and in control thereby reducing stress.

10. Occasionaly change your routine

An occasional change of commuting habits may be advisable too. Try walking or bicycling sometimes for a change. There's nothing like a good walk to ease tension especially when it means you don't have to get in your car and fight rush hour traffic.

By lessening the stress of getting to work, you are conserving enormous amounts of energy that may be lost over stressful commuting. It doesn't only leave you a lot more energy to do your job and become more productive but it also makes you feel good and gives you a good reason to always start your day right.

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10 Methods You Can Use Today to Fight Insomnia

1. Drink Warm Milk - Drinking warm milk 15 minutes before bed has been known to soothe your nervous system.

2. Take a Warm Bath - Taking a warm bath can be a great way to relax your body. Don't exhaust it however. Staying too long in hot water can drain your body of vitality. Throw in a cup of baking soda or bath salts to drive the toxins out of your body.

3. Eat a Bedtime Snack - Foods with large amounts of the amino acid L-tryptophan helps us sleep better, according to a study. This includes eggs, cottage cheese, chicken, turkey, cashews and warm milk as I talked about before.

4. Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol and Tobacco in General - Most people think coffee is the only beverage which contains caffeine. Wrong. Non-herbal tea such as black tea, Cola beverages and even chocolate are high in caffeine. Research has shown that alcohol upsets sleep. This is the same with Tobacco.

5. Sleep on Your Back - Some people sleep the opposite way. Sleeping on your stomach causes pressure on all of your internal organs. This can also cause a stiff neck. Try sleeping on Your Back. It is the best sleeping position to allow your internal organs to rest properly. If you are used to sleeping on your side though, sleep on your right side and not your left.

6. Sleep in a Well Ventilated Room -  A room temperature between 60-65 degrees in Fahrenheit is the optimum temperature for sleeping. Use more or fewer blankets to adjust your body to the room temperature.

7. Drink Herb Tea - If you have to avoid drinking Warm milk or any other dairy products, try a cup of herb tea (camomile, catnip, anise or fennel tea). This will help you sleep better.

8. Get Some Exercise During The Day - White collar workers (office workers, non-manual workers) are more known to have insomnia than blue-collar workers, who get physical exercise during their work. 15 Minutes of exercise or at least 30 minutes before going to bed will give your body work and oxygen it needs to get your body to relax and sleep better.

9. Avoid Naps - Skip naps if you take them. If you can't get yourself to sleep at night, naps will stop you from sleeping properly. By skipping naps your body will be tired to fall asleep at night.

10. A Reflexology Technique : Toe Wiggling - Lie on your back, and wiggle your toes up and down for about 12 times. This will relax your body, both inside and out. "Meridians" are channels of energy treated by acupuncture. The meridians in your feet connect with every organ and every part of your body. Toe wiggling helps to bring about a relaxing energy within your body.

Now there they are, 10 ways to fight insomnia. Have a good night's sleep!

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9 Tips on How to Kiss the Blarney Stone

Kissing the Blarney Stone at Blarney Castle in Ireland is said grant you the ability to make coversation the gift of eloquence and, given the abilities of the Irish to talk, who are we to question tradition?

Conversation skills are something many of us wish we had but travelling to Blarney Castle might not work for everyone.

Here are a few tips to help anyone improve their conversation skills.

1. Speak about what you know

In conversation our words betray our knowledge. There is a well known saying "put your brain into gear before opening your mouth" and all of us, at some time, have wished we'd done exactly that. Conversations on subjects we know something about are always much safer.

If you don't know about a subject, listen and learn, and if you are asked your opinion preface it with "this is something I know little about.." then give an honest opinion. We all have our limitations, and you will be respected for your honesty.

2. Actively Listen

Active listening is one of the main conversation skills. Concentrate on what others say and how they say it. As you listen to the words listen to the variation in the pitch of their voice. See how it changes depending on mood and how the tone and pitch change what's being said.

3. Watch their Body Language

Watch how others communicate is another major conversation skill. Don't just listen to what others say, watch their body language and their gestures. If all you do is listen to the words you will miss most of what they are saying.

4. Acknowledge your Errors

One conversation skill often overlooked is admitting an error. We all make mistakes, and if you realize you've made a mistake acknowledge it. If you are usnure about a word check if you pronounced it correctly or ask if you used the word in the right context. People accept honest mistakes, however if you are always using long words just to show off they will quickly lose interest.

5. Make Eye Contact with your Audience

An essential conversation skill when listening and speaking is to use eye contact to maintain a connection. It doesn't matter if you have an audience of one or one hundred, maintaining eye contact keeps them involved. Practice eye contact in a mirror and note what makes you uncomfortable as it probably has a similar effect on others.

6. Smile and Inject a Little Humor

When done well it can lift the tension, or recapture those individuals whos thoughts have drifted away. You will retain the attention of the majority of the group or audience and they will feel more comfortable.

Unless you are a stand up comedian don't crack jokes. It is much better to tell humorous stories based on your experiences but don't laugh hysterically at your own stories. Allow others to appreciate them without being embarrassed at your behaviour.

7. Me, Myself, and I

Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower or the bath and you think of yourself as the next Frank Sinatra or Eva Cassidy. Leave those dreams and opinions in the bathroom! In conversation don't inflate your own ego by continually talking about yourself.

One often overlooked conversation skill is to involve others, by asking them their opinion and give them a chance to talk. Don't belittle their opinions, give others the respect you like others to give to you.

8. Get Involved in Social Groups.

Whether that's a night school drama course, a course to improve your public speaking, salsa lessons or a group or society related to a hobby or your work. Get out there and talk to lots of different people and you will pick up all the conversation skills you need.

9. Practice, practice, practice

Think of a few anecdotes and stories and write them out before you go out. If you have a tape recorder record your stories and listen to them again. Think of the questions you would like to ask others and your answers to the same questions. Now if you are asked you will be able to deliver a more relaxed answer.

Being confident in the company of others is difficult for many. Few have excellent conversation skill and the majority just about cope. As with anything else conversation skills and confident speaking are all about knowledge and experience.

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7 Steps to take the Stress out of Homework

Homework is at best a chore for most children and, unless they are very committed, They find homework difficult, often because they are not motivated. Consider the following questions.

When your child does homework to what degree is he or she comfortable, focused and relaxed or is doing homework a battle and a struggle every night?

If so:

Do you have to give homework help regularly?

Have you spoken to his or her teachers?

Have you tried gentle pep talks?

Do you resort to harsh reprimands?

Rarely will any or these work in isolation and pep talks and reprimands are the last things you should use as they will simply build up resistence to school and homework.
The struggle with homework can, however, be eased by "re-programming" your childs attitude and approach to homework.

Here is a seven step approach to curing the homework struggle:

Step 1. Stop discussing doing homework with your child.

Instead discuss how he or she is approaching homework. As part of this solution guide your child to step back and really explore the way they are approaching their studies.

Step 2. Find out what pressure you child is under with regard to homework. Ask him or her:

Are you worried what your friends will think if you do or don't do your homework?

Do you find the homework difficult and believe that you are not clever enough?

Do you enjoy struggling with your homework, or do you want to end this struggle?

Step 3. Discuss their answers openly.

Never dismiss their opinions or feelings - even if you strongly disagree with them. These feeling are theirs and are valid whatever you think. Dismissing them only reinforces them.

Step 4. Acknowledge that homework is not easy.

Show your child that resisting it makes it a bigger problem and creates an obstacle to enjoying the rest of their free time.

When you change their negative attitude they will work more positively and creatively and with less pressure. Positively approaching homework gets it out of the way quicker and removes the stress.

Step 5. Make yourself available as a tutor:

Offer assistance on how to approach problems but don't give the answers. If you don't know something say so and work with them so you learn. Praise them for the level of work they are achieving.

Don't be afraid to make yourself look foolish - it provides motivation for them to see the work is difficult, and when thay have completed it they get a greater sense of achievement.

Step 6. "Reprogramming" should be done while your child is doing homework, but not when there is any time pressure.

They should be able to stop and start the studying many times to discuss any problems. Initially try it at the weekend but not when they are rushing to go out.

Don't introduce it as a special time. Your child should just regard it as a normal homework session. You should, talk to them and focus on their resistance to homework. It may not work immediately. It is a process and eventually they will drop or reduce their resistance and find a more positive attitude towards their homework.

Step 7. Be aware that "getting work done" is not the main focus of your time using this approach.

There will be many purposeful stops and starts, as you both explore the best way to approach homework.Let your child express his or her feelings.  Discuss and expose all their limiting beliefs and feelings and encourage them to find their own solution.

Children and homework is a difficult mix at the best of times but tackling the real cause of their resistance will lead the a more positive approach and better grades.

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7 Quick and EASY Steps On HOW You Can Use Self-Hypnosis To Cure Your Anxieties

Has any of this happened to you?

 - Your boss ends your Monday with a stack of papers and instructions that you must submit this report in the next 48 hours or else...

 - Your significant other doesn't answer your calls when you need to get a hold of them the most

 - Your mother sends you Guilt-Tripping messages that you don't come and visit enough

 - Your landlord Completely ignores you when you tell her that part of the ceiling is leaking in your apartment

 - Your credit card bill is getting HUGE and is taking over in your dreams

At this point your probably starting to feel a throbbing pain in your temples like your head is about to explode.

EASY does it.

You certainly don't want that to happen now do you?

Sit down and take a deep breath, close your eyes, relax and unravel your inner thoughts.

Sometimes, when taking control over a chaotic life, a stressful situation, a physical ailment or an emotional dilemma, it will usually start within you - your mind, and specifically, your "Subconscious".

Communicating with your subconscious doesn't have to be seen as being difficult.

Negotiating with your own self(Yes, I know it sounds kind of crazy, but hear me out) can be 'achieved' through a form of mind control called "Self-Hypnosis".

Some of you reading this article right now may of heard of this practice and know How To do it, but for those of you who don't here's a sample of this basic procedure in 7 easy to follow steps.


Step #1. Find a venue conducive for relaxation.

Find a quite room, with a comfortable temperature and set the lights just right (not too dim, not too bright).

Then... light a candle and incense if you desire.


Step #2. Surround yourself with sound pleasant to your ears.

Play some relaxing music. Bring in a portable fountain. Hang some chimes where the breeze blows.

WHY?

Because the sound of music is soothing.


Step #3. Find a comfortable position.

Surround yourself with the things that make you feel the most comfortable. For example, your pillows, blankets, your favorite pair if joggers, whatever you like.

A caring, healing sensation always eases stress.


Step #4. Tell yourself this.

I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease with myself.

All my tensions, worries and anxieties are gone.

I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease with myself.

(Repeat many times while breathing deeply and with your eyes closed.)


Step #5. Picture what you want your life to be.

Visualize every detail, every situation that you want to happen.

Imagine it So... as if it is really happening at this moment.


Step #6. Repeat step #4.

Breathe in, breathe out. Now... imagine yourself being surrounded by a bright, luminous light starting from your forehead until it fills the whole room.


Step #7. Wake Up!

Simply wake up when you're ready and feel refreshed.


Repeat this procedure regularly as needed.

This exercise simply helps you clear your thoughts.

It may also lead you to Self-Revelations that will help you assess the situation on How you want to live your dreams.

It may or may not work, your goal may or may not be achieved - the universe has reasons humans may not fathom.

The important thing here is this: "Self-Hypnosis" will help you become a better, calmer person that's More attuned to themselves, and more willing to help others.

With ALL your tensions and worries away, who knows what you may accomplish in the coming Days, Weeks, Months and Years that lie ahead.

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5 Tips On How To Build Self Confidence Today

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build self confidence today, but the majority just either ignore the issues or concentrate on the negatives: stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Concentrating on these areas drains our self confidence rather than improving it.

If you could improve your self confidence you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with other people.  Below there are five simple techniques that have been proved to help build self confidence today.

1.  Talk to yourself. It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realize it or not.  Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts. 

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, advertisement boardings, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from our minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages. We need to hear the positive messages as they will build self confidence today and raise our self esteem.  Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

As an example one of my regular sayings is "I like myself, I like myself, I like myself". I just repeat it for a couple of minutes.  It sounds cheesy, but does build self confidence today – Try it.  I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud "I like myself!" 50 times, it will be impossible to keep from smiling.

2.  Dress as smartly and as classily as you can.  You wont feel at your best if you don't look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best.  It just feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment.  So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self confidence today not next week.  Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair!  A hairdresser once told me "Everyday is show time!"

3.  Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing.  Say "thank you" to yourself to everything you see, all whom you meet, and each smile that you receive. 

4. Stand or sit correctly:  How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn't matter, you don't matter.  Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood.  Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5.  Smile. Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile. If you don't think you can try this:

1)Open your eyes as wide as you can – (try and get your eyebrows right up to you hair line)
2)Slightly open your mouth
3)Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears (If your not sure pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers).
4)Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others. This will make you feel happier and with that you'll build self confidence today.

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5 Tips for Surviving an Unfair Boss

Every job has stress, but the workplace environment can seem almost unbearable when working for an over-demanding or unfair boss. You don’t have to like your boss, but you do need to be able to co-exist and co-operate with him for you to be productive and successful at your job.

    Other than a change taking place, as I discussed in the article ‘Unhappy at Work? A Change is Coming,’ there is no perfect solution for dealing with a difficult boss, but here are five suggestions that might make your situation a little less painful.

#1)  Think of your boss as a parent and you as his teenage child.

    This sounds silly at first, but the relationship between you and your boss is very similar to that between a parent and child. Teenagers often have problems with authority and experience disagreements with their parents. Meanwhile, parents often create rules the child believes to be unfair. If the situation gets bad enough, as soon as the child is old enough he finds a way to move out and make it on his own. Parents aren’t perfect and neither are bosses - both will make mistakes.

#2)  Do the absolute best job you can.

    Sometimes the child misbehaves. 

    J. Paul Getty once said, “The employer generally gets the employees he deserves.”

    Make sure you are the type of employee you would want working for you if you were the boss. I know this goes against the notion of revenge and tucking it to an unfair boss whenever possible, but by doing the best job possible you give the unfair boss less ammunition he can use to make your life miserable. He also might think twice about upsetting one of his better employees when there are plenty of other, easier targets he can take aim at.

    Don’t draw attention to yourself. Unless you are the only one your boss has it in for, there should be plenty of others to draw his wrath away from you. Let someone else wear the target on their back.

#3) Learn all that you can from an unfair boss.

    We can learn something from everyone we come into contact with. While from a good boss we can learn good management techniques, it is also true that from a poor boss we can learn how not to act. Don’t just suffer, gain something from the situation that will benefit you in the future. Watch how your boss handles different situations and make a mental note of which techniques worked and which failed.

#4)  Forget about yesterday.

    Yesterday is history, it’s over with. Try not to let your issues from yesterday spoil today.  Instead, start each day with a new, positive outlook, telling yourself that today is going to be better.

    Sometimes we get into a rut, expect the worse and act accordingly - we subconsciously force a person (in this case, our boss) to act the way we expect him to act. Make sure you are not unintentionally adding fuel to the fire. Starting each day with a fresh slate is the best way to get past previous differences. Holding onto a grudge only hurts yourself.

#5) Take responsibility.

    Don’t expect someone else to end your suffering.

    Complaining is easy, but it accomplishes very little. Worrying about a problem won’t make it go away while losing sleep and dwelling on an issue only makes it seem worse. You will never be happy if you are focusing on worry. If you are truly in a situation that is causing you pain, you need to begin taking steps to improve the situation.

    The Roman Philosopher Sallust said, “Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”

    Have you actually looked for another job? Have you tried to improve your skills through in-house training, adult learning centers, books or correspondence courses?  Even the smallest step in the right direction is progress. An obstinate boss won’t change his ways, but you can improve your own skills. Why not let your difficult boss be the motivation you use to better yourself?

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5 Quick Stress Busters

How do you react when your plans fall through?  Do you roll with the punches?  Or does anxiety keep you from enjoying life?  To a great extent, our personality determines how we deal with stress in our lives, but here are 5 things to help keep your stress under control:

1.    Sleep more.  It’s very common in our society to exist on less than 6 hours of sleep a night.  But experts keep telling us we need at least 8 hours.  Not just to rest our bodies, but to rejuvenate our minds.  “Tired” and “cranky” seem to go hand in hand.  Don’t use your bedroom to watch the news or finish up some work from the office.  Make that room your haven, a place to relax and escape the day.  Have a hot cup of tea, take a warm bath, or read a paperback to help you unwind.

2.    Have faith.  Saying a short prayer in times of stress can give you a sense of calm, especially when the situation is one you really have no control over.  Studies have shown that people who trust in a higher power have lower blood pressure.  Being able to forgive people also can affect your blood pressure.  Holding a grudge is not good for your health!

3.    Turn it off.  The convenience that cell phones have added to our lives can actually be a double-edged sword.  We depend on them so much it seems we can’t live without them.  This increased accessibility means not only can our loved ones reach us at any time, but so can work.  If your employer legitimately needs to have your cell phone number, make sure you set clear limits on when you can and cannot be reached.  Your time off is yours.

4.    Take a holiday.  It doesn’t have to be a fancy vacation resort.  A day at the beach, or an afternoon at the park will do.  Just anywhere you can be and not think about the bills, work, or whatever tensions you may have.  It’s important to take time for yourself, so do it!  You’ll feel better with a fresh outlook.

5.    Treat yourself.  Sign up for a yoga class at your local gym or community center.  The costs are nominal, and you’ll feel more relaxed after even just one session.  A monthly massage or a spa treatment is also a great way to recharge.  You’ll walk out feeling like a million dollar bowl of jelly.

Stress is unavoidable.  But what we do about it is up to us.  Experiment with these suggestions and see what works for you!

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4 Psychological Needs Help Deal With Conflict

Internal conflict, conflict within yourself, reflects the difference between what you really feel and what you are able or choose to do about it. Interpersonal conflict occurs between you and another person when what they do or say is different to what you feel and vice-versa.

Everyone has four basic psychological needs. These are the need to be valued, to be in control, the need for self esteem or self worth, and lastly the need for consistency or stability.

1. The need to be valued or appreciated by others is a basic psychological requirement

You want others to recognize your worth and appreciate your contributions. You are more motivated when your contributions are recognized. When you feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, or taken for granted your need to be appreciated and valued has been violated and this can trigger a response of fear, anger or frequently both.

2. The need to be in control

Being in control is important for everyone, but more for some than others. The more insecure you feel about yourself, the more controlling you may become. On the other hand, if you feel secure and confident about yourself, then your need to control others will reduce.

Whenever you have to deal with an over controlling person remember their need to control comes from their insecurity. Make them feel secure and their need to control will normally reduce.

3. The need for self esteem and self worth

By this I mean you should appreciate yourself and look to your strengths rather than any weakness (we all have both). A strong self esteem gives you a powerful, solid base for dealing with all types of problems and situations.

With a strong self esteem, you have the ability to positively respond or react to any type of situation, rather than reacting negatively by panicking of avoiding the potential conflict.

4. The need to be consistent

You need to know what is likely to happen in any given situation. You need consistency from family, partners, friends, everyone in your life otherwise you are always anxious about the unexpected.

This is not to say that no-one can change their minds but someone who changes opinions or reacts differently to the same situation brings a level of insecurity in to your life and you never know how to react.

The reason some people feel the need to change comes from their insecurity. They are insecure in themselves so they try to fit in with others all the time and will agree with whoever they feel is the most dominant personality.

Whenever any of these needs are not met conflicts, internal, external or both, are produced and people usually react in one of four ways.

They can retaliate, dominate, isolate, or cooperate.

Retaliation and domination can result in extreme violence. Isolation separates the parties but does not resolve the conflict whereas with cooperation one party allows their feelings to be ignored and accepts the opinion of another over their own.

If you are aware of these basic needs and reactions you will begin to understand how and why you and others react the way you do. Considering these needs, understanding them and acting upon them will make you a more complete and therefore a more confident person and will give you strength at times of conflict.

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3 Powerful Tips To Help Manage Everyday Stress

Often times stress will manifest when we carry over yesterday’s concerns into our present day concerns. An accumulation will almost always end up in a high stress level. Therefore, we must be able to “dump” all of our concerns from the previous day or days and concentrate wholly on our today.

So here are 3 stress busting tips

- Stress Busting Tip #1

Resolve right now to release every thought from yesterday and be only mindful of the now…. this thought only...this breath...this moment. Take in three very deep breaths and slowly release each one.

At the same time feel each and every concern, each and every problem, and each and every unresolved moment, begin to dissolve. You can deal with them at a later time. For now, you are only to be in this very moment.

Now go to your inner quiet place. Go deep inside to a place where you feel that you are at peace and then just relax and breathe in deeply and enjoy the feeling of being at one and at peace within yourself.

Use this special time and place to be calm. Free your mind and body of all worry, all regret, all disappointment, all anger and grief.

- Stress Busting Tip #2

Next, think of one particular act, such as rocking your baby, taking a quick stroll, raking the leaves, and do that one simple thing. All the while, your mind is quiet and calm and you are in your own special place within.

Practice this act of quiet and calm each day and you will see that you will accomplish so much more. At the first sign of being stressed, go back to this mindful, quiet place and start all over again until you have reached your inner place of calm.

- Stress Busting Tip #3

The very best thing that you can do for yourself is to eat, drink and rest – to your health!

Stress is easily brought on by not eating and drinking properly. When you don’t get the number of hours of sleep that you need each night, you are only setting yourself up for additional stress.

Limit the amount of salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol in your diet. Drink plenty of clean, pure water each day and do at least moderate exercise each day. This will breathe new life into your skin, hair and will nourish all of your vital organs.

Take time to breathe properly! Take deep belly breathes to send pure oxygen to all of your body. Laugh and then laugh some more. It is food for the soul! Spend time doing the things that please you most. Engage in healthy and fulfilling relationships and work on problems that would erode the closeness that you have with someone special.

When we are content and living a balanced life everyday stresses seem to pale in comparison. We are better equipped to deal with the unexpected.

You can take control today! Isolate only one particular stressor in your life and then work on it until you regain control. At the very least, have some new hope!

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